I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
