Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
