Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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