his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
