Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
