dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
