Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
