the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
