North Korea, Best Korea!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
