Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
