best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize