I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
