I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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