Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
