He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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