One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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