I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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