I wanna passion pit in your ass
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
