Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
