I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
