1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
