Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
