you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
