I need help removing her.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
