i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Randomize
