i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
