Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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