I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
