yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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