why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
