god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We're too hungover to prance.
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
