I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
