My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
