Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
