You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
