Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
