Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
