So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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