If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
