im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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