I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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