so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
