My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
