I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
