He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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