I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
