Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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