I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
