Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
