from now on my penis is your penis
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
