i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
