If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
