I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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