Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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